A Dozen Female-Authored Books

About two years ago I looked over the list of every book I’ve ever read and realized, “Damn, what a sausage fest.” Much like the higher-ups at a tech company or a group of legislators signing an anti-abortion bill, my list of authors had approximately one female for every 50 males. I resolved to change my habits and started by reading ten consecutive books written by females.

Looking for a new book to read? Here’s a synopsis and brief review of one dozen female-authored books I’ve recently read. I consciously chose books that varied in genre, era, and style.

Harry Potter 5: The Emo Years

870 pages. Really? Am I reading a children’s book or Leo Tolstoy here?

Honestly, I never thought I’d read a book with this many pages. Then again I never thought I’d wistfully long for the days of George W.Bush, but alas… here I am. Life comes at you fast. Maybe if Infinite Jest was one part in an exciting fantasy series I’d actually get around to reading it. Or maybe finishing these Harry Potter books will give me the confidence to take on Marcel Proust. But probably not.

Ch 1 – Dudley Dursley is now going by “Big D” and it just so happens that “Big D” is also my karaoke name! Wow, Dan and Dudley. Two Big D’s. So much in common.

He’s Once, Twice, Three Times a Wizard

Ok let me start by saying that a lot of people have been telling me (more like demanding) that I need to take some official online quiz to truly discover my house (as if it’s somehow possible I’m not a Hufflepuff). But you know what? Last I checked a quiz doesn’t assign the houses, the sorting hat does. So unless one of you has a sorting hat lying around somewhere, I’ll continue to assume I’m a Hufflepuff.

I’m sorry but you don’t get placed in a Hogwarts house the same way you find out which Disney princess or Game of Thrones character you are. (I’m Belle and Khal Drogo btw).

 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 1 – Aww, a REAL birthday with real presents. How heartwarming. It’s like Harry’s becoming a real boy.

Harry Potter 2 – Way better than Weekend at Bernie’s 2

I’ve finished the second Harry Potter book and I’m pretty sure I’d be in Hufflepuff. To be honest I don’t know much about Hufflepuff because Gryffindor and Slytherin get 95% of the plot. Gryffindor and Slytherin are like Republicans and Democrats while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are the Libertarians and Green Party. Sure they exist, but everyone knows they aren’t going to seriously matter. Hufflepuff probably has as much chance of winning the house cup as Jill Stein has of winning the Presidency. Nevertheless, I did consider voting for Ralph Nader for a hot second back in college so I’m comfortable with being in Hufflepuff for now.

My Introduction to Harry Potter

I finished the first installment of Harry Potter. Here are some thoughts that strolled through my head while reading:

 

Dudley Dursley – This kid reminds me of so many of the students I have worked with over the years. I really hope at the end of the book/series Harry gets to ride down on Falcor and terrify Dudley until he jumps into a dumpster.

If the fantasy genre has taught me anything, it’s that bullies always get what’s coming to them.

 

Chapter 3 – Man remember when people used to get letters? Not like bills and junk mail but hand-written letters? Those were the days. Of course Tindering was a lot more difficult back then.

The Album vs. The Playlist (w/Book Review – Interpreter of Maladies)

With Interpreter of Maladies in hand, I recently embarked on “A Return to the Short Story.”

…Although, I shouldn’t imply that I’ve been away from short stories. I’ve now set a personal record this year by reading three short story collections. Though they may not be as fulfilling as a full length novel, I do love short stories in their own right, which brings me to an interesting debate:

The Album vs. The Playlist

Book Review – Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison (1977)

1^st Reading: Fall 2014

Toni Morrison won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1993. As the most recent American to win said Prize, Morrison officially holds the title of reigning “Queen of American Literature.” (The Queen/King of American literature is something I made up but should be a for real thing).  President Obama* claims Morrison’s third novel, Song of Solomon, as his favorite book. Say what you will about his policies, the man has good taste in literature.

Book Review – Once Upon a River

As the saying goes, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.  Ignoring the metaphorical implications, let’s examine that phrase in a literal sense.

Example 1:

This cover has a boring old mountain on it. Is there anything more boring than a mountain with some dumb old clouds floating by? Maybe in Ansel Adam’s day mountains were exciting, but he lived before the invention of smart phones and color photography. One would assume this book is for dull elderly people seeking inner peace and tranquility when instead they could be out water skiing or following Phish on tour all summer.

Book Review – In Our Time

In Our Time by Ernest Hemingway
1^st Reading, Summer 2014

Published in 1925, Ernest Hemmingway’s first book is a collection of sixteen short stories, each of which is interspersed with a vignette. These vignettes, which are shorter than one page and typically deal with war or bullfighting, are labeled as the book’s “chapters.”

Original American Badass

The sixteen stories focus on the varying interpersonal relationships people live with (and often struggle with) and the influences, such as family, setting, love, responsibility, and war, that shape our growth as humans.

I Know What I Read Last Summer + Book Review: Sweet Thursday

Each time I finish a book I perform a secret ritual. In a sad attempt to catalog my own life, I write the book title on a notepad and rate the book on a scale of ten. I have a running list of every book I’ve read over the last 14 years. Am I desperately clinging to my aging memories as time marches relentlessly onward? Probably. But I like to remember what books I’ve read, when I’ve read them, and what I thought of them at that time. Did you know that in the Summer of 2009 I read Twelfth Night and rated it an 8/10? See, I wasn’t kidding.